...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
vagina is talking i cant
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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