I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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