high people should be assigned attendants
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
