Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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