I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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