Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
