I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
