I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
