I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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