So gin and wine won't be happening again
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
