Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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