I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
