12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
