Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
