Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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