im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
