There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
my sisters under your porch take her home
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
