so that wasnt chicken after all
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
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