I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
