Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
