pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
