I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
