if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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