my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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