If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize