Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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