Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
