Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
