You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
me + whiskey = a bad person
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize