You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
