just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
