thus making me awesome and them whores
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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