Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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