shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
