If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
