Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
