Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
