Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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