you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
