There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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