Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I am available for nakedness
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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