I think im going to throw up on grandma
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Randomize
