so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
