Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
