What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
