I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he puts the penis in happiness.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
