She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
