Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
