would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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