Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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