so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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