Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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