Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
