The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
