chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
