end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
