there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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