I think I am morally bankrupt
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
